mobb deep helped me be a better father. full stop.
now, i wouldn’t consider myself that good of a father overall, so maybe it didn’t help me enough to matter. i’d consider my parenting to fall into similar categories as the five-percent nation:
- 85: most of my parenting style could be considered dumb, deaf, and blind
- i’m here, but am i here
- 10: i’ve made some bad decisions in my lifetime
- five-percent: here’s where i try to overcome everything i lack and build something better
editor’s note: my apologies for the brief interlude there. we’ve just got done watching wu-tang: an american saga and wu-tang clan: of mics of men so my knowledge of self can’t be helped. here’s where that knowledge of self got me:
anywho, i was listening to mobb deep’s survival of the fittest today and havoc spits at me:
i’m trapped, in between two worlds, tryin to get dough
y’know when the dough get low the jewels go, but never that
as long as fiends smoke crack
i’ll be on the block hustlin countin my stacks
no doubt, watchin my back and proceed with caution
five-oh lurkin, no time to get lost in — the system…..
…and so on. the key line here: y’know when the dough get low the jewels go, but never that. aka: when i am running low on money, run the jewels. i couldn’t help but think of my kids and the idea that from me (1995, 17 years old) to my oldest daughter bonnibel today (2024, 23 years old), and every child in between, holds one continuous truth – run the jewels.
rtj stans will know. stan or not, if anyone wants to buy me this pink sweatshirt, i’d owe you one.
i was so angry as a teenager and the only thing around me that matched that energy, and often exceeded it, was the hip-hop coming out of new york. mobb deep, wu-tang clan, and any number of black men in new york were somehow speaking my language. a language rooted in anger, but a hopeful anger. sadness and melancholy, mixed with a drive to overcome and build something better.
today, i don’t hold that same anger, and i share the joy of that same music, along with its descendants, with all of my kids. well, except ellyot. you know how she be.
mobb deep may have saved my life. mobb deep definitely helped me be a better father
one love,
james
ps…..i vibe hard with the idea of survival of the fittest. it’s the worst of it, that makes the best of it.
and yeah, i tried to dress like this. corny mfer.